Chasaya:It Is Normal For Women To Be In Charge Of Homes

Traditionalist Dickson Chasaya says there are fewer marital problems in a home where the wife is financially independent.
Chasaya yesterday said women had usurped authority in most homes because of the presence of equal opportunities among men and women in many sectors.
“A lot of times in our counselling sessions, we are facing problems in marriages that arise as a result of men always thinking they must be the ones to be in charge, where one has not come to terms that women can maintain us,” he said.
Chasaya said it was normal for women to be in charge of homes.
“We are marrying women graduates now. In any case, when you have a woman who is independent, the problems are minimised in a home,” said Chasaya.
Recently, Young Women’s Christian Association president Lucy Lungu said a number of men were becoming dependent on women.
Lungu said although the trend of more wives running homes could not be sustained by statistics or surveys, visibly there was a trend in society where women were taking up a leading role in their homes.
Contributing to the debate, Chasaya said women and men were being exposed to the same opportunities which in the past were only exclusive to men.
He, however, said that most men were living in denial that women could run a home where a man was present.
“A lot of men are being maintained by their spouses today. I remember when we were growing up, my parents would tell our sisters ‘Don’t go to school. School is for your brothers’. And they would stay behind to carry out house chores. But now, we have a situation where in many cases we have equal opportunities for girls and boys. And in some cases, the girl child’s performance matches up to a boy child. A man though is in deep denial,” he said.
“There are equal opportunities for women and men today and because of that, our ladies are maintaining most of us. Nevertheless, the need for a man to carry out the role of running the family is God-given and regardless of their status, men must not shun it. A man is designed to be a provider, a protector and an entertainer. It is a God-given assignment and you cannot be in charge per se when you are being maintained and that is the reason for the denial.”
Chasaya said the prevailing trend was not strange because culture was dynamic and changing like the social and economic trends.
“Unfortunately, it goes without saying that ‘he who pays the piper, calls the tune’. My opinion is that ladies should keep it at the back of their minds that in spite their being the heads of homes as a result of their economic status and influence, which they overdo in most cases, they should know that they are our ribs, our helpers and that to a certain extent, they should be answerable to us. They can even buy us cars and if that is the case, we also as men should come to terms,” said Chasaya.
Last year, former gender permanent secretary Annie Sinyangwe said the number of men living off educated and economically empowered women in urban areas was increasing.
Sinyangwe said Zambian men were increasingly getting attracted to economically empowered women.