Kaingu Says He Is Proud That His Wives Can Provide For The Home When He Can’t

Mwandi Constituency MMD member of parliament Michael Kaingu says he is proud that his wives can provide for the home when he can’t.
Kaingu, who is married to two women Iris and Angela, says he can afford to sit back and relax while his wives do the chores.
Kaingu was commenting on Young Women Christian Association (YWCA) national coordinator Lucy Lungu who said that a number of men were becoming dependent on women.
“Matters of family, you cannot discuss them in general. Each family may have its own merits and demerits but the truth is there are men today who depend on their women. You see women are more responsive. In the process even the man gains,” Kaingu says.
“It is not true that men depending on women are not doing the right thing. There are some who when they lose their job, their wife is still working and until he gets another job, he will depend on the wife. So you cannot condemn those people. But there are some men again, who have taken the role of ‘Tito’. All they tell their women is ‘you do that, you do that’ while they are just in a relaxed atmosphere. They are John iso ulye ubwali (John come and eat nshima)’.”
Kaingu says family related issues can’t be generalised, and that they are dependent on individual family basis.
“In fact I sit back and relax. I do very little work now. When I started with my wives, mind you I have been in this (polygamy)arrangement for over 28 years, so it is not something that is yesterday’s. Those are not ordinary women, they are educated women. So far it is the best thing that has happened to me, to have those wonderful women. So even me, I can tell you that I depend on them,” explains Kaingu.
He says there is a wrong impression out there that politics is lucrative.
“When I started, it was a bit difficult to orient them (wives), to coach, and mentor them to a level where they are completely on their own. They are able to borrow money from the banks now and pay back. They are able to buy their own vehicles, so it has actually given me relief,” he says.
“They have sent children to school. I must even confess here that, I have heard people talking about us MPs taking a lot of money and that we don’t deserve K500,000. That is nothing to a member of parliament, frankly speaking. From the time I joined politics, there is nothing tangible I can point at and say ‘this is what I got’ other than the vehicle Parliament gives me. I use it to go to my constituency. The little money I get goes to my electorate.”
Kaingu says research once conducted by the ministry of community development had also shown empirical evidence that women were running homes.
“Although our culture demands that men must provide for their family and remain so-called bread earners, I think the empirical evidence is contrary. If they are those who want to challenge that, let them take up an investigation,” he notes.
“In fact, there are some cultures where a man would marry more women so that they become workers on the farm. I don’t want to mention the culture, of course that is not the reason why I married two women. Our relationship is unique. I don’t think you could compare it.”
Kaingu says his conclusion on the matter is, however, that men and women should agree and work together.
“For me what is important is both must come together and work hard for their sustainability,” he says.
“And for us parents, once the young ones marry, it is better to give them space to plan their future.”
Unlike other polygamous marriages where there is tension among the partners, this one is unique.
The unity exhibited by Kaingu’s wives is always debated by people.
Kaingu’s first wife Iris played a very key role in his marriage to Angela to a point where she was the matron.
Kaingu’s second wife, Angela, was co-matron also at Kaingu’s wedding anniversary in 2006 and almost all the children were on the line-up dancing to the soothing wedding songs.
Presumably to ensure loyalty from his wives, Kaingu has incorporated them into the running and management of his business ventures throughout the years he has been married to them.
“Mrs Kaingu senior is the manager for Kozo Lodge and Mrs Kaingu junior is the sales director,” he explained in 2006.
He attributes his bond with his wives to sincerity in their matrimonial life.
“Hard work, love, determination and sincerity to one another have made us reach this stage of marriage,” Kaingu says.